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'Judging Judgment' by Melissa A.Gignac

An article by Melissa A. Gignac


After recently addressing the issue of ‘fair-weather friends’ it seemed only natural to visit another topic that continues to pollute our devolving social cesspool. While encouraging readers to re-examine their friendship circles and possibly weed out some bad seeds (thus saving a few extra pounds by shortening that Christmas list) there remains a serious problem that extends beyond the selection of our closest bosom buddies. I am now speaking directly about judgment and the opinions many of us create our own unofficial licences to express, whether morally damaging or not.

It seems the act of judging has become nearly as natural to people as breathing, but paradoxically has a suffocating effect. I understand there exists a very spiritual notion that, ‘god exists in each and everyone one of us’, but strongly contend that such does not make us all individual ‘gods’ in our own right. Surprisingly enough, it has taken me nearly two years living in London as an ‘outsider looking in’ before finally reaching my breaking point and deciding that the time has arrived to judge this unnecessary act of judging.



Justifying Judgment



During a brief cameo appearance as a lawyer, there was no escaping the fact that I had entered a profession committed to the practice of judgment and justification. I was earning a small income on the distinction between right and wrong, though largely dedicating my time to fighting causes that were not always in agreement with my moral beliefs. In so doing, there was an underlying sense of comfort that I was following a set of legally imposed guidelines and rules, as opposed to ‘willy-nilly’ pointing fingers and casting unqualified blame. But despite my ability to successfully sleep at night with what I was doing, I quickly grew tired of living a life of loopholes and started reconsidering my career selection. At last, whilst in ‘re-evaluation mode’ I accepted that the practice of law also failed to stimulate me with the creative freedom found in writing, which encouraged me to jump ship before sailing off to that figurative ‘island’ already populated by thousands of unhappy lawyers… not to mention it happens to be the same island where people wish to send all existing lawyers… but I will spare my readers a lesson on solicitor stigma. Suffice it to say, I am astounded by the way my transformation as the cliché ‘struggling artist’ and the resulting choices I have faced as a result have generated such profound criticism from those who know so very little about me… including my shoe size, which makes it all the more difficult to walk around in my life for a day. As such, I have been inspired to commence this overdue discussion on our judgement tendencies and turn our minds to the significant impact this is having on an already complex social network.



Making the Move and Where it Didn’t Get Me



Continuing now with an illustration of a ‘personal life choice’, my decision to switch career paths and move to England has since been labelled many things, including: “risky” “crazy” “ballsy” and my all-time favourite, just plain “irresponsible”… leaving me in the painful place of continually having to defend myself. Venturing in and out of short-term employment whilst desperately searching for my special ‘niche’, I only managed to discover I was the mayor of ‘shame central’ without a job to boast about. Such a position (or imposition!) has prompted the same question from new friends and acquaintances over and over again: ‘How am I surviving?’ After dancing around the truth with two left feet and finding endless creative ways to explain myself, I now embrace my vulnerability and openly reveal to the world the cold, hard truth… I am receiving financial support from my family! [Insert shock – gasp – horror here]. Now asking myself: ‘Was that last paragraph easy to admit…?’ I can honestly say it’s about as easy to admit as it is to live with… and the answer is: Not very.




So to expand on a blatantly adverse experience in London where my now not-so-personal career/ financial status remains, I am currently mystified by the incredible amount of judgment calls directed my way in such a short period of time and with such little information to go on. I can only guess that such confrontation is all the more difficult without my closest long-term friends around to defend my ‘dis-honour’. Generally, when I admit to receiving financial support from my parents, people automatically make assumptions, including the belief that I must come from a rich background (untrue) or that I have no direction and ambition in life (also untrue). On more than one occasion I have bit the bullet and fought back tears after being deemed “pathetic” for still receiving monetary support at this point in my life and after the amount of time/ money/ effort expended into graduate studies… And frighteningly enough, after hearing it enough times it’s only natural one might actually start to believe it…



But now that my secret is out and I anticipate being further judged in some form or another, how then can I scramble around justifying this sinful act of ‘depending on daddy’?? Well, grasping once more for that running thread on life investments (when last we checked this includes friends) individuals also have a plethora of options where the investment of their money is concerned. Some invest in the stock market; others in property or business ventures… but my parents chose to invest in their daughter. Although not particularly wealthy, my mother and father are two of the hardest working individuals I’ve encountered in my life and I credit them for being so supportive during the worst financial times I have suffered. Making payments on student loans, funding most of law school, and sustaining the brunt of my living expenses during university and beyond, are only some of the financial sacrifices my parents made on their mission to see me succeed and to be able to define my success by happiness, not hardship. I am probably their biggest risk yet, but they took this in a state of unconditional love and blind faith, and sadly I don’t see much of this sort of investment from people anymore. But whether this is the same decision all parents would make for their children is not in question. What matters is that the choice to help belonged to my parents and the choice to accept the help was mine. That written, what exactly is it that makes my reality so disgraceful? I won’t bore you with the list of perceived possibilities, but I can say that it should not extend beyond the way I feel and the way my parents feel about the situation. Don’t get me wrong: I would never be so ridiculous as to claim my circumstances are ideal and I am more than aware of the need to take responsibility and find a solution to an old problem. Guilt must be the worst and most futile emotion in existence and I am plagued by it everyday for not being in a different, more independently successful place than I am. Being a financial burden is nothing to be proud of, but being judged by others-- including those who are supposed to be closest to me, proves nothing about what I should really be doing with my time and education. Instead, such unwanted criticism only stands to make difficult circumstances that much harder and calling such criticism ‘constructive’ is like calling a piece of shit a rose… we can all assume it still stinks.

So rather than take any more abuse for being an over-educated nobody, it would be a welcomed relief to find reassurance that I am not alone in this burden of uncertainty… yet sadly enough, why do I care what others think in the first place…? And furthermore, does this city have something to do with the fact that I feel like less of a person because I’m currently not a part of the hustle and bustle of London’s notorious, but professional pace…?



Having placed myself at the mercy of candour, I admit my career change has hardly been a walk in her Majesty’s park with sunshine, roses and frolicking King Charles Cavalier Spaniels… No doubt, London is a tough city to crack and I’d be lying if I said the majority of Londoners make this process any easier. Having many times been quoted as the ‘city of opportunity’, I remain amazed by the fact that such sentiment was echoed without the added tip: ‘but populated by hungry sharks’. But before I receive too many raised eyebrows over this particular observation, I should add that my love-hate relationship with London has far less to do with the city itself and more to do with circumstance. I have quickly discovered that to enjoy London one must not only thrive to survive, but should also be well insulated with a heavy undercoat beneath that layer of thick skin. But the aforementioned requirements aside, without a solid support system in place, a person has about the same chance of surviving London as a hairless Chinese Crested dog has of surviving the Arctic. In my case, self-preservation remains challenging even after two years in the UK and despite the admitted financial hardship I remain fixed in my position that external judgment serves as the main reason for the added turmoil. So after taking way too many shots for the team, (as I assume I’m not alone in this difficult place of having racked up thousands of dollars in education fees, etc.,) I need to ask at what point did we become more hurtful than helpful as human beings existing in an already struggling society? Instead of condemning others for not being in a more secure place in life, whatever the standard measured, it seems more sensible to appreciate one’s own fortunate circumstances and wish something better for those who are struggling… or better yet, use our strengths to assist people with their weaknesses without pointing an accusing finger.



In his book, The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success, Deepak Chopra reveals that:



“the easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. This principle works equally well for individuals, corporations, societies, and nations. If you want to be blessed with all the good things in life, learn to silently bless everyone with all the good things in life”.



Chopra also refers to the benefits of practicing “non-judgment”, claiming that such “creates a silence in our minds”. Adding further emphases on the subject, he cites a quote from a prayer in A Course in Miracles, which states, “Today I shall judge nothing that occurs”. He then advises readers to assume a practice of this phrase either for a day, an hour, or for the extent of one’s personal capability, in order to curtail an unhealthy pattern of judgment. After trying this myself I admit it is difficult at first, though incredibly eye-opening. I instantly discovered many irrelevant things I place my focus on, thereby polluting my conscious awareness and depriving myself of the benefits of positive thinking. “Non-judgment” is a rewarding routine to adopt and the experience can be described as nothing short of personally liberating.



As evident in my last posting, I do love a brief moment of introspection, so I will take the opportunity to beg the following question:



- Why do we judge in the first place?



My guess is we are becoming increasingly insecure as individuals and tend to project our self-created notions of failure on to others instead of addressing our own distorted beliefs. But this is only one possibility of the many reasons why we waste valuable time concerning ourselves with the actions of other people. Turning inwards and examining why we judge in the first place is an important step in identifying the futility of unnecessary judgment, hopefully leading to a giant leap forward in moderating a very bad habit.

Putting Down the Invisible Gavel



So how do we avoid making these unnecessary judgment calls and refrain from persecuting the ones we love most, sometimes claiming we are ‘saying it because we care’…? The reality is, in most cases we can’t avoid judgment entirely, as it appears to be a natural process of observation and discrimination according to our own preferences. However, we can learn to keep some of our opinions to ourselves by recognising that unsolicited advice is generally unwanted advice and often times all people want is for others to lend an ear instead of giving a mouthful. Furthermore, sharing problems with others does not give listeners a right of passage to an unwelcomed appraisal of our lives, but rather it presents an opportunity to offer support and encouragement during difficult and confusing times. No doubt, opinions can be great… while educated/ well thought-out opinions tend to be even better… And then there are those viewpoints that belong in the deep dark recesses of our private minds never to be aired out loud. A bit more consideration and compassion for our fellow humankind can certainly go a long way in a short amount of time…



Therefore, on a final note for this holiday season, whether you find yourself ‘staring the gift horse in the mouth’, or barely managing to suppress a criticism about the dryness of the turkey, be grateful for your blessings and accept that some things are simply better left unsaid and the effort appreciated instead. In this current stressful climate, which finds everyone living in their own personalised pressure-cooker, a little more support and a lot less judgment may- at the very least, melt some of the ice in our hearts… while we leave the frosted outdoors to Mother Nature.

InMagazines are a brand name owned and published by INDEPENDENT NEWS LIMITED (c) copyright 2009.

The Artist in Question

The Artist in Question - Victoria White by Jennifer Sutcliffe

When I meet the artist Victoria White her colourful personality is mimicked by her clothes, oranges, greens and blues are thrown together to create a delightfully vivid ensemble.

Victoria has always drawn and painted from an early age and took her first photograph at the age of six. It was a portrait of her friend next door, Jason. Her mother was so amazed by the results she has kept the photograph to this day.

"All my family are either artists or writers. My grandfather used to write the Betty Bunter stories. For years my family ran a publishing business so fantastically creative people were always around me." This could easily explain why Victoria excelled at art at school and won lots of competitions which resulted in "a lot of strange prizes!"

Despite her passion for art she put off taking this up as a career straight away and worked in publishing for six years at IPC media and Conde Naste, doing art editing. This involved scanning a lot of photographs and working with Quark. "I was going ballistic and had to do my own thing that's when I decided to turn to art as a career."

Victoria studied as a mature student at the Chelsea College of Art where she completed her foundation degree which was "an amazing experience." She then studied at Camberwell College of Art for her degree.

In the art world you have to be special to stand out from the crowd and Victoria certainly is. Her artwork is fresh and original and she says that: "When I create I aim to come from a place that is pure, whole and untouched by the ego. I see that everyone is unique, imperfectly perfect. As much as I look different to the next person so will the art that I create."

When photographing Victoria's favourite medium to work with is water. "The fluidity and power of water I find awe-inspiring. The water literally paints images for me, which I can pick and choose, through the click of a button."

The camera of choice for her Water Bottles picture was a Canon EOS 5D, a digital camera. Victoria says that using film or digital does not make that much difference as she is careful only to press the button when she sees the photograph is right. Victoria does not use Photoshop with any of her images as what she sees through the lens is what is produced in the resulting image. "Not using any kind of computer enhancement for photography I believe to be quite a rarity these days." Photography for her is "an opportunity to show that the universe is totally stunning naturally and needs no computer enhancement."

Reflections play a key part in Victoria's photography and she explains that she "loves finding the extraordinary and beautiful in the most everyday objects. I find it incredible to look at the side of a glass and see it within it a microscopic distorted version of reality. The everyday is everywhere - but to find the unusual, abstract and surreal in everyday reality is for me what turns landscape into a living motion picture."

Abstract photography really interests Victoria. "If I take a photograph and it doesn't look like something obvious then I feel I have achieved what I wanted. A cup is a cup and anyone can take a photograph of a cup but to take a picture of a cup and see two images in it similar to Salvador Dali's artwork - that is brilliant." Victoria knows when she has taken the perfect photograph - "a bolt of light will go through me and it's an absolute wow moment when I feel the creativity is there and it flows just like that - it is the ultimate creation."

When painting or creating collage work she uses the brightest colours available. She uses Gouache paint which is potently colourful. She also has a penchant for working with coloured cut out card, creating all sorts of abstract and obscure images and then photographing parts of the image that appeals the most."

Inspiration is drawn from a plethora of sources for Victoria's artwork, from the flower stall next to her studio to the weather to a great conversation with a friend. "Life for me is a palette of inspiration." Ultimately she gets her best ideas from watching the sea. Victoria spent six years living in Malta also a year in Villefranche Sur Mer in the South of France, where she grew great inspiration from watching the sea.

An exhibition of Victoria's work is currently being shown in the Trowbridge Gallery, Kings Road, London. Currently exhibiting are pictures of Water Bottles, Tate Britain Trees and 14 pictures of paintings where she put paint in between two pieces of glass and pulled the glass apart and photographed the results.

She enjoyed this process as she allowed the paint do what it wanted to naturally and this is why the show is called Alchemy.

She has also just created a project for Kensington and Chelsea library card. They are re-launching the card in 2010 with her photography or painting on each one. She found this project great to work on as it was so diverse as she designed cards for adults, teenagers and children. She enjoyed creating the card for the teenagers the most as she photographed amazing colours and graffiti around Portobello Road which had a vibrant teenage feel.

Victoria is currently working on a collection of photography and painting. Water Bottles (close up images of bottles of water) has been a sell out. She took the pictures after a massage in Italy and they really reflect the relaxed and warm feeling she got from the massage.

The Royal Academy of Art is her favourite place to exhibit, doing so recently at the academy's Summer Exhibition. She remarks that "the architecture is fabulous, stunning location and a great client list."

Producing art for Victoria is meditating and "everything stands still and this immense void is filled with an unfathomable unearthly presence." A commission that Victoria was particularly
proud of was for the juice bar in the Mayflower Hotel in Chelsea, London. Here she produced photographs of models underwater in a swimming pool and applied turquoise and brown paint on top to heighten the reflections of the water.

Celebrities are great fans of Victoria's. Joely Richardson is an avid collector of her art and has supported her at each show. She also went to Croatia with her to take her portrait photograph underwater. Prince Albert of Monaco purchased a picture of Victoria's in Monaco. It was a photograph printed on canvas of a woman underwater with the reflection of the water distorting the image and creating fabulous greens and blues.

Since the purchase, of the picture above, Victoria has visited the palace on a number of occasions to do Prince Albert's portrait. He now owns quite a collection of her work.

The ultimate piece of art Victoria wants to create is a commission for a large piece of public art, something where a lot of people can see and appreciate, in bold colours. "I want to create something that inspires a person to go and create something - that is my aim."

Teaching art is also a great passion of Victoria's. "Teaching art is such a rewarding process. I see it as a two way process. I'm learning as I'm teaching. Whoever I work with whatever their capabilities I see them as an equal. I am very careful what I say when I teach and always encourage the positive. When I see something looking amiss I pay gently point it out whilst encouraging the student to feel good about their creation supporting growth and learning simultaneously."

Apart from art Victoria's passions are yoga and walking. Yoga for her is integral to her well being - "I just fall into another world of the breath and my inner body. Listening inside is so important for me - as I acknowledge what is going on inside is manifesting on the outside. In terms of art I create mirrors of my inner consciousness."

Finally if Victoria could invite five artists to a dinner party she would invite: "Damien Hirst as I respect his business ethos. Matisse to discuss his cut out coloured work. Vivien Westwood because she is flamboyant, stylish and totally extroverted. Henri Cartier Bresson for being a brilliant natural photographer and artist. Lucien Freud for his stunning nude work."

I feel that Victoria's use of colours in her art are very uplifting and it would be a delight to have her art hanging on your wall as they would be a great mood enhancer. I feel that Victoria is a refreshing addition to the art world and her pieces are unique and individual. Her pieces are highly collectable and I feel that they will stand the testament of time.

To view more pictures and to contact the artist visit http://www.victoriawhite.co.uk/

InMagazines are a brand name owned and published by INDEPENDENT NEWS LIMITED (c) copyright 2009.

Top Fat Loss Secret this Christmas Season

By Steven Magill


With Christmas around the corner, it is easy to gain weight during the season. With all the parties, social gatherings, food and drinks, it's the season when people put some pounds in their bellies. It doesn't help that the weather enables you to hide the weight gain but nevertheless, there is a tendency to be tardy in your exercise and diet during the season.

You can lose weight during the Christmas season. It is possible if you have the will and determination to not only maintain your figure but lose weight during this winter celebration. What is this top fat loss secret? Actually, it's nothing new but here are some things that you can do to lose the weight during the Christmas season:

- Go on a liquid diet to prevent yourself from eating during parties and gatherings. There are many liquid diets which you can do during the Christmas season. You can go on a liquid vegetable diet using carrots, cabbages or lettuce which you juice up and feed during the day. This type of diet enables you to lose fat and weight easily but it may also weaken you as well. The best thing you can also do during this time is to time this liquid diet when you are at home. A week of following this liquid diet may lead you to lose at least 10 to 15 pounds. And when you feel tired, take a nap.

- Workout on the gym during the holiday season. Its contrarian thinking but the gym would be the least busy place during the holidays. Instead of spending your time hitting the pillows and blankets taking a nap, go and get a good workout. There will be gym guides who will be there to help you out and most probably have more time to pay attention to your workout.

- No Sugar for the holidays. If it seems impossible to do, it isn't. Do other things than eat sweets. You can do stretching exercises like yoga, pilates and the like in your own room. Go out for a brisk walk for an hour. Go on the treadmill or get out of the house so as not to be tempted to eat desserts.

These are but some of the top fat loss secrets that aren't really secrets. The ideas are all there. Implementation, well that's the problem. The secret to losing weight is to want to lose weight and be willing to do whatever it takes for you to lose weight.

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Steve Magill has been writing for 4 years now particularly on topics of diet, wellness, and fitness. http://www.whatisthequickestwaytoloseweight.com/

He is an expert on fat loss and he has come up with top fat loss secrets of today

http://www.whatisthequickestwaytoloseweight.com/top_secret_fat_loss_secret.html

InMagazines are a brand name owned and published by INDEPENDENT NEWS LIMITED (c) copyright 2009.

Worldview Spaceflight Ltd. - Britain's leading space 'travel agency'...

JOIN THE SPACE RACE AND BE PART OF HISTORY!

Space tourism and Astronaut training program booms following Richard Branson's unveiling of Spaceship2.

The Spaceflight Preparation Program is designed to change the Space Tourist into an Astronaut by giving you all the same experiences that professionals before you have had before they embarked on their historic missions. We believe it is the best preparation available right now anywhere in the world. We also believe that the program itself provides an thrilling experience of Astronaut training and is open to anyone who wants to experience that without the need to commit to a spaceflight.

Duncan Williams, the chairman of Worldview Spaceflight (pictured right), says; "This is a very exciting time for all of us working within the aerospace industries. Particularly those of us who have invested in the future of British commercial spaceflight."

British born Duncan is known to have built his business reputation following a series of successful speculative investments within the ailing newspaper and magazine industries during the difficult period of transition from print to digital publishing.

"I have always been very lucky," smiles Duncan. "But also very quick to spot an area of potential new business growth. Commercial spaceflight is that area."

Worldview Spaceflight can be contacted via http://www.worldviewspaceflight.com/

enquiries@worldviewspaceflight.com

Begin your own astronaut space training program today!

InMagazines are a brand name owned and published by INDEPENDENT NEWS LIMITED (c) copyright 2009.

Branson unveils his 'spaceliner'

Plans to send thousands of space tourists into orbit have taken a giant leap forward, with Sir Richard Branson unveiling the world's first commercial passenger shuttle.

The British billionaire teamed up with renowned aviation designer Burt Rutan to build the Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo, which could be venturing beyond Earth's atmosphere as early 2011.

Sir Richard and his family - including his 92-year-old father - will be on the first flight, the entrepreneur said.

Others booked for a trip to the stars include physicist Stephen Hawking and environmental scientist James Lovelock.

The vessel is based on Rutan's prototype SpaceShipOne. In 2004, the stubby white rocket won the 10 million dollar (£6 million) Ansari X prize after becoming the first privately manned craft to reach space.

Its successor is twice as large and has more windows to enable greater views of Earth as seen from its furthest reaches.

To date the only people who have enjoyed such a view have been the few hundred government-sponsored astronauts and a handful of super-rich star-gazers willing to part with a small fortune for a seat on board a Russian rocket destined for space.

SpaceShipTwo has enough space for six passengers and two pilots.

It is believed that some 300 clients have already paid the 200,000 dollar (£121,500) ticket or put down a deposit for a seat.

Speaking from the Mojave Desert in California, where the vessel has been developed, Sir Richard said: "I have been dreaming about it ever since the Moon landing - that one day I would get the chance to go into space. Nasa, I suppose, didn't think that you or me would like to go into space.

InMagazines are a brand name owned and published by INDEPENDENT NEWS LIMITED (c) copyright 2009.